Accomplishing Much in the Desert: My Journey with Depression

Overcoming Depression | Beneath the Cherry Tree | Choosing Joy | Finding Happiness Again | Finding Hope

Accomplishing Much in the Desert: My Journey with Depression

Depression is more like an ongoing enemy, but somewhere within myself, I want to call it an old friend. Not because it’s been good to me – no. But because it has always seemed to be more readily by my side than almost anything else for most of my life.

I remember the first time I felt its grip. I was twelve. I started taking birth control at a very young age to curve some health issues I was having, and the benefits of it made me always second guess the depression that walked in hand-in-hand with it. That medication was my companion for six long years. Six years that I wrote off feeling as though I had no hope and no joy and no substance to my soul because I thought it was just teenage angst.

I remember spending so many of those nights in a pool of tears. I felt so completely consumed by a weight I felt in my chest and a blur of disillusionment about my life. I struggled to see my way out of this pit. I felt crazy. Unsure of how to cope and unsure of what would happen if I confessed to my weakness, I pressed on. I fought back feelings of hopelessness and exchanged them for substance abuse and busyness. I thought this was who I was and that I was doing all that could be done.

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The Secret to Living Beyond What If

Overcoming Anxiety | Anxiety Relief | How to Gain Confidence | Overcome Fear

The Secret to Living Beyond What If

“I can’t do that. I have bad balance because my mom does.” I stated, so matter-of-fact at the invitation to try on my new playground friend’s Rollerblades.

“What does that mean?” They asked, tilting their head and staring blankly at me.

“I just have bad balance. You know how sometimes your mom has brown hair, so you do? I think it is like that.” I replied as they walked away to play with someone else. I stood there confused. Where did that come from? I couldn’t remember if someone had told me that or if it was my own idea. But I thought it must be true, because why would I think that it if wasn’t?

I remember the day those words first came out of my mouth so clearly. I think I felt, in that moment, the shift in my heart as seeds were planted. Those lies twisted from the truth and the roots started off so very shallow. But over time – over years and years of believing them to be true and claiming their identity over my life, those roots grew so deeply. You see, I’ve been dreading this year for my whole entire life. I’ve been living in fear of my 23rd birthday for as long as I can remember.

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Create Your Own Fitness Plan

Workouts for Women | Health | Fitness |Workouts for BeginnersUp until about two years ago I really had never put much thought or effort into physical activity. My health journey so far had been more focused on developing a healthy diet and I secretly hoped that this would be enough – because I was not at all excited to get up and get moving!

If you’ve read about my health and weight loss journey, then you know that sports and working out had never been my thing and I always felt self-conscious or defeated if I tried. My friends would talk about running a mile like it was a walk in the breeze or I would hear people talk about going to the gym as if it was as easy as a quick trip to the grocery store. I just thought I wasn’t athletic, and that was okay. I assumed I was just built differently. And I always felt tired – the idea of running on a treadmill when I hardly felt I had the energy to get through work did not sound like my kind of fun.

But then a very sweet and encouraging friend of mine offered to let me tag along to the gym with her one day. And in an effort to just want to hang out, I agreed. Little did I know what I was signing up for! By the end of that workout, my whole body was sore. She taught me so much that day about different workouts for each muscle group, form, and her strategies for challenging herself. She talked a ton about how fun it was for her and her husband to go together and the benefits they were seeing from working out as it overflowed into the rest of their day. Most of all – I instantly realized how amazing I felt right when I left. And most unexpectedly, I wanted to go back.

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The Story of My Weight Loss Journey

 Weight Loss | Fitness | Health | Losing Weight | Weight Loss Journey | Beneath the Cherry Tree

 

The Key to Success

This is the story of my weight loss journey. I have lost close to 50 pounds – and counting! But what makes my story unique when it seems like everywhere you look there is some new magical pill to take for getting the perfect beach bod? Or an incredible secret uncovered about losing 15 pounds in a month?

Well, sweet friend, let me tell you that this journey has been far from easy, and far from an overnight transformation. But this has been the most beautiful and eye-opening journey with the Lord. Until I invited Him to be part of it and for Him to show me His design for weight loss and health, I never had an ounce of success. But now, almost 50 pounds later, I can honestly say that the health of my body and the health of my relationship with Him is better than ever!

And I truly believe that is what He has in store for you, too!

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